Getting the motivation in life to accomplish the things you desire can be challenging for some folks.  And when you’re frustrated it’s can be scary how easy it is to see only the dark side of everything.

Frankly, it’s really easy to choose “fear” as a motivator but that almost never works.  Saying, “I have to lose weight or I’ll die” is really saying, “I’ve never been able to do it before so I’ll probably die”.  I don’t like that.

As I write this I’m still in San Jose, Costa Rica getting treatment for my wife’s so called “Un-treatable Cancer”.  I’m not here because I think she’ll die, I’m here because I think she’ll live.  Sure, my initial fear told me to stay in the U.S and give up – but I don’t think that way.  Nope, it took a couple of days and then I got excited about this new adventure we were about to embark on. 

I know – it sound strange. “What do you mean adventure?” Before I get to that, let me tell you about one of my new friends here in the hotel.

Every night after a long day of treatment I tuck my wife into bed and head downstairs for dinner.  That’s where I met my new friend Carlos. 

Carlos is a shy bartender and it took a couple of days for him to open up.  Eventually I learned he had recently lost 40 pounds after his “motivator of last resort”, his doctor, told him he would die if he didn’t. 

Frankly, I didn’t believe him – and I ended up being right.

Being told you’ll die if you don’t’ stop eating Cheeseburgers won’t work.  Why? 

Simple, you don’t believe it. 

After all, you’ve been eating Cheeseburgers your entire life and it hasn’t killed you yet right?

None of us think we’re going to die and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  How else could we survive this world?  No – fear won’t work.

Back to my friend.

It turns out that two years past between the time he was told to lose weight or die and he didn’t even start losing the weight for a year and a half.  I asked why and he said, “I’m not sure”. 

Really?  Let me ask a question.  “What happened just before you started losing the weight?”

It turns out he started cutting calories shortly after his first child was born.  His love for his new family motivated him to take care of himself and be around for his daughter without even thinking about it.

What the fear of death could not do, love could.

The funny thing is - until I pointed out his true motivation he truly believed the “fear” of dying motivated him.  When he realized it was the opposite, his eyes began to tear up.  That’s when I said, “I think I need to buy you a drink”.

So what’s my point?

You will succeed in every goal you choose when you choose a compelling future to drive yourself toward. 

Oh, about the adventure I’m on. 

Life is full of ups and down but in the end we all get to choose how we feel about our experience.  It’s not a matter of good or bad, it’s a matter of how we choose to feel about it.  I choose to feel this is just another chapter in a great lifelong adventure.  Maybe you can do the same?

Hmmm… could it be that simple?