Preface

Hey everyone,

I’m Wendy.

First, I have to thank Scott for, not only producing an awesome podcast, but also making a place for us to keep a journal of our progress here on his message board.

I am grateful for both.

I don’t want to write a long, drawn out post detailing my life and weight issues. With each of my posts, I’ll to reveal things bit by bit.

Here’s a synopsis:

While my weight yo-yoed for years, it wasn’t until five and a half years ago that I gained a tremendous amount of weight and kept most of it on.

In 2000, I moved to a city where I thought I was going to create a whole new life for myself. The thing is, right from the beginning, I had a hard time acclimating to this city. Living the life of a hermit became my lifestyle. While, over the years, I have created a successful home-based business and spent countless hours in front of my computer acquiring tons of knowledge and skills, I’ve completely ignored my body.

Most of my days consist of waking up, going to the bathroom, walking from the bathroom to my computer. Then I sit at my computer for hours upon hours-- occasionally getting up to go the kitchen or the bathroom. In the evening, I move to the couch to watch TV. From the couch it’s back to the computer and then to bed.

I think I’m beyond sedentary. I think I’ve become immobile.

Sometime in 2005, I decide it was time for me to move to a new city. That move will take place in May--120 days from today. My goal is to leave here weighing considerably less than I do now.

I don’t know how much I weigh. I am basing my progress on waist measurement and the improvement of my health.

Right now, my waist measurement is: 49 inches. (I’m 5’2, by the way.)

While I haven’t experienced any major health issues because of the excess weight I have been carrying, I feel like my time is running out. If I don’t make changes, my body will give out.

At some point last year, I felt a shift in my body. All these years my body took care of me. I never experienced any illnesses or discomfort while I completely ignored my body. But now it is time for me to return the favor, sort to speak, and become more aware and nurturing.

My shame and fears of how other people will perceive me stop me from, not just enjoying my life, but being able to take care of myself in the way I want to.

-I haven’t gone to a doctor or dentist in years because I fear they will either chastise me, be disgusted by me or treat me badly because of my weight.

-At the moment, my hair is a million different lengths because, last summer, rather than going to a hair stylist to trim the ends, I cut my hair myself. I made a huge mess of it. I keep it back in a ponytail waiting for it to grow a bit longer so I can get it fixed. I was fearful of going into a salon and having a stylist, possibly, think I was a total loser. Now, I dread going to a salon and having to explain why my hair is a disaster.

-I love photography. While I’m not shy about going out and shooting photos, my excess weight keeps me from being able to walk the long distances I would want to go with my camera.

-I want to study to become an energy healer. But because I have spent so many years alone, not only am I nervous about being around strangers, but I fear no one would allow me to practice on them because of the way I look.

-I can’t forget relationships. I yearn to be romantically involved with a guy. Having that experience seems so distant because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be with me.

I love working out. I have many workout DVDs that I use.

I still have some issues with food I need to iron out.

Mostly, right now, what I want to focus on is establishing a routine.

Because I work from home, I have no set schedule. Literally, every day is different. I’ve found it extremely difficult to choose a time to workout and honor that time each day. I also eat sporadically.

That’s enough for this post! I will be tracking my progress every day for the next four months. I’m hoping that the sharing and accountability will help keep me on track.

Wendy -

I’m glad you posted.  We’ll all be happy to be your cheering section as you move forward.

It sounds like you have identified a lot of the places where your trouble spots are, and now you need to come up with ways to solve those problems.  Maybe the first one to tackle would be working out.  Because you have the freedom of setting your own schedule, you could ask yourself if you really want to work out at the same time every day, or if you want to be more flexible.  Think about ways you can reward yourself for sticking to your commitment, like not watching TV in the evening until you’ve worked out.

As I have worked on positive changes in my life, this is the process I have used.  Figure out what I want, analyze the obstacles, try to figure out ways around them.  Then give it a try, succeed, try again, fall down, re-analyze, adjust as necessary, try again.

I can appreciate that when you are uncomfortable with your appearance, you are uncomfortable in the more intimate situations you mentioned - doctors, dentists and hair stylists.  Remember that these people work for you, not the other way around.  They should have your best interests at heart, and they should not look down on you in any way.  If for any reason you sense that they are, then get up and leave.  And you really don’t owe your hairstylist an explanation for your current style.

Wendy, it sounds like you have a hard time believing that you are a valuable person.  I think you’ve spent so much time alone that you’ve forgotten that there is a whole world out there of people who value you and want to get to know you, men too!  But you seem to be in the right spot for a positive change.  You want to start taking care of yourself, and you’re taking the steps to do it, by seeking out resources and support. 

Scott mentioned on one of his pod casts that as you start keeping the promises you make to yourself to eat better and get in shape, you’ll feel better about yourself.  It’s the journey, not the destination, even though it seems like it would be the other way around.  I have found this to be true in my life.

Take care and keep us up to date on how you are doing.

Laura

Hey Windy,

First off, congrads on taking the first step towards your goals and progress. Taking that first step is always the most important. There are so many different directions that one can go in your position, but remember that free will, not will power will get you to where you need to go. Educate yourself as much as possible and start out with small steps. Because it worked for me, I would recommend Weight Watchers. You can find more information at WeightWatchers.com. But, there are many different ways to cross the river. Start finding the stepping stones that you need to cross it.

Day 1 of 120...

I have begun!

I have to admit, I really wanted to start with a big burst--do two workouts a day and really push myself.

But I realized I had to start out moderately and build from there.

My goal: For the next two weeks, I want to work out every day. It will be cardio 3 times/week, strength training 3 times/week and stretching on my rest day.

The idea is to take two weeks to just get into the habit of working out. Then I want to add two days of pilates and two days of yoga into the mix.

Workout:

I thought I’d start out with something easy and familiar. I chose the Leslie Sansone DVD, WATP--the 2-Mile workout.

LOL! I remember the days when I could breeze through that workout. Today, I nearly died getting through it. I’ll stick with it though. This DVD will be the one I use to gauge my cardio progress.

Tomorrow, I will break out the Power 90 Sculpt 1-2 DVD for full-body strength training.

A couple of weeks ago, I got the new Biggest Loser workout DVD. The strength training workout on the DVD sucks, but I have to say, the stretching, cardio and bootcamp workouts are pretty damn good. I’ve done the cardio workout a few times and loved it. The thing is, toward the end, there’s an endless squat and lunge segment that is intense! Again, this is another workout I will have to grow into.

I have finally come to terms with the fact: I have to work out in the mornings. Even though I don’t like the idea, it’s only time of the day when things aren’t crazy.

There are so many days that are crammed with unexpected things that the day just goes by so damn fast. It’s proven to be difficult to halt what I am doing to take time to workout. Mornings will have to work.

Food:

Again, yesterday, was one of those days when food was an afterthought. I drank a fair amount of orange juice and ate 4 bagels topped with sliced cheese.

I bought groceries this morning. I’m working more raw vegetables into my diet.

Food goals:

-Eliminate sugar
-Eat 3 servings of fruits/veggies each day (and work up to 9 servings)
-Only eat takeout once a week
-Use the Body For Life technique of taking one day to eat whatever I want.

Misc:

There’s not a whole lot going on.

Way to get started Wendy. It’s great to set out your goals for you to follow. The one thing I would suggest would be, don’t allow yourself to eat something that you know you shouldn’t be eating on on your off day. There is this great quote that I came across in a book I’m reading that help you think about your weight loss. “Fat people who are constantly dieting should worry less about how to lose weight. Instead they should ask themselves, ‘Why do I gain weight so easily?’” Just a thought. Best of luck Wendy and keep us posted!

Good point Skyler.

I’ve never really been a fan of the “Free Day” anyway.  Hey… aren’t all days free?

Another thing I’ve noticed…

Most folks who have a free day - or what I like to call a “Old Bad Habit Day"… eventually find that
their new way of eating just feels better.  The result - they eat well everyday - including their free day.

Something to think about.

Good job on working out your plan, Wendy!

I have had the same experience with the “food as an afterthought” situation. When I take the time to think about what healthy things I can eat and stock up the kitchen I do well. When I don’t plan ahead the cupboard is bare and I end up eating fast food or whatever unhealthy options are floating around the kitchen.

I agree with you Scott. I had to change my eating habits some time ago, and I now cut out all processed food, sugar etc. I have much more energy, and I generally crave good food now. Wendy, I am sure you can make it, and here is my advice. Do not label food as good and bad, but just listen to what your body wants. If you attach labels such as ‘bad food’ or ‘desired food’ you are automatically focusing on that type of food, rather than what your body actually tells you is good.

Most folks who have a free day - or what I like to call a “Old Bad Habit Day"… eventually find that
their new way of eating just feels better.

This makes me think of my nutritionist who said, “Jason, you’re not on a diet, you’re in a diet.”

That one phrase stuck with me...I still love food, just not so much of it at one sitting!

hey Wendy,
I was in your spot a while back...working out of my house all of the time, and then basically spending my free time either in front of the computer or the tv...in my house.  After a while, I fell in the same trap of being a hermit, as well.  One thing that helped me was getting out of the house, every day, at least once.  I would always go get lunch, or go meet people in the evening, go rent a movie from blockbuster by going to the blockbuster store, something.  Otherwise, it was too easy to find I could go a couple of days without talking to a person at all. I found just getting out of the house helped a lot, even if it was for just a second, because you have to get ready and get dressed and see people.  Forcing myself to do this would create motivation for other things, social interaction, working out, etc.
Just my two cents!  keep it going!

Wendy!

How are you? How are your goals working out? Remember, we’re here to help!