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First of all, Ro - you have given me many insightful things to consider and because of recent events (see below) I am now thinking much more clearly about my future. The suggestion to forgive gives me the ability to take the high road and reach a place of peace sooner than if I carry bad feelings forward.
To everyone who has read and responded with words of encouragement, love and support - thank you all. This past weekend, I made the move to a brand new place, near my family and about 500 miles away from all of the bad memories and source of sadness. As I drove the miles towards my future, the anger and sadness melted away and I truly felt the opportunity for a happy life was my destination. I know enough to expect a period of healing and discovery to learn lessons from my experience, but it will take some time.
I cannot express in words how much it has meant to me that this original source of weight loss support turned into a real lifeline for me as I fell into a deep dark hole. Each of your replies gave me a piece of rope to tie together, enabling me to pull myself up and out. Please know that you each have a gift of a caring nature that is likely reflected in your daily life, whether you realize it or not.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, my desire is to “pay it forward” to another person who reaches out for help, in this forum or however that chance comes into my life.
With gratitude and respect,
Cindy
You are such a strong and beautiful woman. I admire your choices in a bad situation. I only hope that we can meet in person someday. You are already paying it forward by sharing your experience here and being so open to the support that is offered. I wish you only the best that life has to offer. You deserve it!!!
Cindy, I’m so happy for you. Congratulations on having the strength and courage to go through with the move. I know how difficult it was for you, yet you overcame and did it anyway. You’re an inspiration to all of us.
Please keep us updated on your new life. I’m sure it will be absolutely wonderful.
I was so happy to read your post! You’ve made so many courageous choices in the past few weeks. I know that living closer to your family will bring you the joy and peace you so richly deserve.
Thank you for checking on me - how thoughtful of you to keep me on your mind!
I am adjusting to living in my new place so far. Love the area and with my family nearby, I get invitations to dinner, to go walking together, or to visit their homes - almost every day. I realize there are lots of personal issues to sort out over the next months, but it is such a relief to be away from what was a tension filled environment.
It’s kind of strange getting into a new routine of exercise. At my old place, I could just let the dog out the door and he’d come back when he was ready. Here I take him on long walks with me and it is so beneficial to both of us. There are all kinds of trails nearby and he can run free with me throwing the tennis ball and him chasing after it. We see deer on our walks most every evening. I see this form of exercise as both physical and mental and spending time with my pet is very comforting. I’m not jogging as often as before but instead, walking 3-4 miles a day and my weight has finally stabilized after losing about 18 pounds during the last few months. (I was already at my goal weight before all this started.)
Cindy,
I am so glad to hear that you have moved to a new location. Sounds to me like this was a good step in the right direction. Also great to see all the people that live by you that are providing great encouragement to you. Also good to hear about you doing some great activity as well. Sounds like things are looking a little better for you. Please continue to keep us posted and we will continue to keep you in our thoughts and send postive support your way.
Wow, over three months have passed since I’ve posted here and although many things have changed for the better, I continue to be affected by the problems surrounding my relationship. I’m unable to get into details within this public forum, but it is unfortunate that another person can have such control over me to the point that I cannot shake it. Things will go along for a few weeks without incident and then something comes up and it’s a giant problem. To the point of me feeling an ache in my heart that just consumes me.
One of the most wonderful things I’ve done in the past three months is rededicate my life to God. He is about the only thing that brings me comfort for even just a moment at a time.
You know, if it was just me, I would see my future as bright and promising, full of opportunity. Because of financial ties, I am forced to continue to be involved with my ex until those issues are resolved. His personal demons and issues with depression cause him to place blame on everyone else but himself. Because of his actions, he now finds himself alone and without much support.
I guess I just needed to vent and you all have been so supportive in the past, I decided to drop in and spout off. Thank you for listening.
Thanks for the update. It’s definitely hard when people won’t let you relinquish ties, especially when they’re a negative influence on you. Keep chugging along—the more you practice being independent, the easier it will be. And we’re ALWAYS here for you if you need to rant.
Thanks so much for popping in with an update. It’s good to hear that you’re still making progress in getting free of this very painful relationship.
I know it’s tempting to think “I should be able to deal with this by now,” but please don’t! Especially when you have to deal with your husband. Have your conversations with him in the presence of someone else when at all possible. If not, make sure and talk over your interactions with your husband after the fact with a good supportive third party. That way you can continue to get the validation that you deserve to be treated with respect and not the abuse you’re still having to deal with.
