I wonder if anyone else has noticed this: I’ve lost about 25-30 pounds in the last year and a half, and gone form a size 12 to a size 5. (I’m currently wearing my new, sexy jeans. Yay!)
BUT: I’ve found that since losing weight, I’m actually *more* critical of my body than I was before! It’s like once I fixed one thing, I find all sorts of other “issues” that need fixing. Unfortunately, some of them are not nearly as easy to fix as losing weight. Some of them I’ve just got to learn to live with, because I don’t want surgery. Others, I would need to find an aesthetician (which I can’t at the moment afford).
I’m under no illusions. I look so much hotter now that I did before. But I’d like to look even better.
Losing weight was a real accomplishment. It sounds like you need to focus on changing the things you can, maybe through exercise to develop muscles in the right places, doing something different with your hair, and wearing the right clothes for your body. Then you need to accept the things you can’t change. Maybe some of those areas don’t need fixing, you just need to change your perception. Many of us are much more critical of ourselves than others are, and we sometimes see flaws that others see as just a part of who we are.
I’ve seen your pictures. I think you probably look hotter to others than you do yourself. Sometimes I need to let go of that little critical voice in my head and listen to my BF when he tells me I look gorgeous. You might try doing the same.
Julie… I experience the exact same thing!! You lose weight and get in shape… but you are also more conscious of your appearance. I am constantly examining my gut, my arms, my legs, etc. simply because I have gained an awareness and appreciation of what my body “should” look like.
I actually remember being at 180 pounds (10 pounds below my current goal weight) and still looking at the extra little flab I still had in my abdominal region. I swear it never ends… I swear we always want more for ourselves and will ALWAYS look for ways to improve ourselves… and it doesn’t matter how well we are doing.
My grandfather once told me that if we open a door to gain knowledge… it leads to 100 more doors. I always say that the more we know… the less we think we know. It is a never ending battle!
I think you probably look hotter to others than you do yourself. Sometimes I need to let go of that little critical voice in my head and listen to my BF when he tells me I look gorgeous. You might try doing the same.
Heh. I was actually having a conversation with my BF the other day (via phone, since he’ll be in Nevada for quite a few months yet), which went something like this:
Me: I got new work pants that make my butt look really sexy.
BF: You don’t need pants to make your butt look sexy.
Me: Yeah, but if I went to work pantless, my students might be distracted from the lesson I’m teaching.
*grin*
In terms of the other stuff, some of it I *have* learned to live with, such as the fact that I make even short people look tall. (5’0” will do that) Others, such as my “girls” being a cup-and-a-half difference in size, I could fix with surgery but have opted for an external silicone pad that slips into my bra instead. It prevents me from wearing certain types of tops, but it’s better than surgery, in my mind.
Other stuff simply comes down to life choices, such as absolutely hating to shave. I’ll do it when needed, but I usually wind up wearing pants and at least short-sleeved tops, even in the summer. Other hair (such as the hair that runs from my belly button downwards) I’d probably need an aesthetician to work on with electrolysis, which I don’t want right now… so no exposed midriffs for me! I don’t wear high-heels, despite my short stature, because I can’t walk in them and I like walking a lot. It’s a lifestyle chocie, but I’ve come to terms with it.
And still other stuff just invovles my body type, which likewise won’t change. My build is pear-shaped. No matter how much weight I lose, I’ll still be pear-shaped. All that means is I need to find clothes that flatter my figure, keeping that in mind. Despite manequins, not all clothes look good on all people, even on all skinny people.
I suppose, in the end, it’s just little nit-picky things. Like you said, I’m probably more critical on myself than others are. In the ends, it’s how I’d chose to have it. Imagine if other people were more critical of me than I was, and I was oblivious! *grin*
(Please don’t mind the rambling of this post; I’m somewhat sleep-deprived at the moment and about to head to bed.)
This is a great question, and I’ve been feeling the same way. I’ve been thinking about this one all day, and this is what my thoughts are:
When we’re fat, that’s the only problem we have. We may be weak, slow, have crappy hair, a goofy grin; none of that matters because the fat is the first, and often last focal point. When we lose the weight, those other quirks are more obvious to us and they now have the focus. I was fixing my hair, and when I lifted my arms, saw some flab on my tummy. It was so hard to squash that thought.
One thing I know for sure, when I look at someone, I don’t see the imperfections. What I see are the things that strike me as beautiful. I believe most people see those wonderful things, whether or not they then hate you for it is their problem. And I assume that’s what people see when they look at me. You could test it out, ask an acquaintance what the first thing they notice about either you, or another acquaintance. Then explain the question after they’ve answered. Bet they feel the same way you do.
I can promise you, your beauty outshines any imperfections you may see. I don’t see any, and won’t ask you to point them out.
I’ve found that since losing weight, I’m actually *more* critical of my body than I was before! It’s like once I fixed one thing, I find all sorts of other “issues” that need fixing.
I can totally relate to that. I find I’m being increasingly critical of myself, now that I’m looking better than I have in a while. I’m getting compliments, and it’s like.......All I’m thinking about is how I’m nowhere close to where I want to be.
But like you said, we’re more critical of ourselves than others are of us. It’s just that it’s so hard not to get caught up in the hollywood/model mindset. I mean who do I compare myself to when I think about my goals? The hottest guys out there. Although I know I shouldn’t be setting my sights so high right now(baby steps), I still feel anxiety about becoming those people. I don’t blame the magazines either, I know it’s my attitude that needs work. And who says I won’t have a toned, vital look one day. But it’s like Scott said, if you look toooooo far ahead, you’ll never get there. We weigh ourselves down with thoughts of the end result, and then it becomes harder to maintain patience. At least I find this to be true for myself.
I just want to add, that the people on the covers of magazines are there for a reason: they are in the 1% of people who can look like that. It’s rare, not normal, and they have hair, makeup, lighting, editors, and rolls of crappy pictures to find the perfect one for the cover. Then there’s the airbrushing. THESE PEOPLE AREN’T REAL!!! Have you seen the pictures they have taken of these people in a normal setting, they are not so gorgeous.
OK, I’m off my soap box. I just don’t want people to compare themselves to fiction. It’s not healthy.
Thanks to everyone who’s chimed in on the “body issues that appear after you lose weight” topic. I really appreciate your input, and it’s good to know I’m not alone on this one.
Today I walked on the treadmill. This is actually a rarity for me: I prefer walking outside, with a destination in mind. I have no problem walking for an hour across downtown (where metro / subway stops are plentiful) if I know I’m going to a teahouse at the end of it. On the other hand, walking aimless or on a treadmill for an hour is pure torturous boredom for me. To each her own, eh?
However (you knew there was a “however” coming, didn’t you?), today two things coincided to prevent me from walking outside. One, it’s raining. And while I’ve walked in the rain before, it’s not something I enjoy doing. Two, I’ve got bug-bites on the back of my heel that make walking in shoes incredibly painful.
So instead, I decided to hop on over to the treadmill, sans shoes, and walk there. Thank goodness for podcasts, I’d have been bored silly otherwise, with no changing scenery and no people around me.
I decided that since I was there anyway, I’d play around with the pace settings. When I walk outside, I know approximately how fast I walk, but not specifically. So today I started at 3.5 miles per hour and added 0.1 mile per hour every minute. By the time I hit 4.5, I was at a light jog (I’m short and have short legs, okay?!?). I finally made it up to 5.0, stayed there for a while, and then slowly came back down again. I wound up doing 3 miles in 41 minutes, and then added on another 4 minutes of cool-down.
Why am I going into so much detail about the trivialities of my workout? Quite frankly, because I found it boring enough to need to pay attention to those details, in order to keep my brain from going poof! I certainly hope the weather clears up and my foot heals soon, or this’ll be a LONG couple of days!
(Please note: all you people who like treadmilles, more power to you. They’re just not my thing.)
I just want to add, that the people on the covers of magazines are there for a reason: they are in the 1% of people who can look like that. It’s rare, not normal, and they have hair, makeup, lighting, editors, and rolls of crappy pictures to find the perfect one for the cover. Then there’s the airbrushing. THESE PEOPLE AREN’T REAL!!! Have you seen the pictures they have taken of these people in a normal setting, they are not so gorgeous.
OK, I’m off my soap box. I just don’t want people to compare themselves to fiction. It’s not healthy.
Bree
Yeah, a lot of times you’ll see pictures of celebrities out at a restaurant or something. No makeup or anything, and they look pretty normal. I was watching a show yesterday where they had this young guy who is a model, and they had airbrushed him.............That would make almost anyone’s skin look great. Then you see them with no makeup and they usually look good, but nothing like what’s in the pictures. Models just need the basics that are required, everything else can be added. So yeah, it makes no sense and is unhealthy for anyone to try and match up to the wizardry of makeup and photo editing.
As I’ve lost weight, I’ve definitely become more critical of my body. I used to look at myself in a more overall, impressionistic way in the mirror. I used to think I looked pretty good, and not really worry about the specifics. Now I see every little detail, and I zoom in on what I see as flaws. I just look much more closely, since I’m looking for changes in my appearance as I lose weight.
I’ve actually gotten to a point where I think I look better in pictures than I do in real life (plus I’ve mastered the hip angle to the camera, which minimizes my biggest problem zone). When I’m feeling really down on myself, I try to change my thinking by focusing on things that I do like, such as my thin ankles and wrists, or my collarbones. Another good thing to focus on is how far I’ve come. Although I don’t look like a cover model, I look really good for me, and that’s all I can hope for: to be the best I can be.
Brandon… regarding your point about pictures of models and actors/actresses… you are correct. A couple of our neighbors met Ashley Judd at a car race and they said that she looked really plain and not really attractive.
Laura… I just think what you said further proves the point that success breeds a desire to attain more success… sometimes to the point where we seek perfection which is impossible to attain. Eventually, we have to take a step back and appreciate where we are and how far we have come.
This is just a friendly reminder from someone who was just reminded herself (by the sometimes-cruel hand of mother nature) to stay cool and drink your water. Today the temperature in Montreal is 28 C (82 F), with a humidex of 35 C (95 F). Now, I know in some regions, this is just par for the course, but in Montreal, it’s HOT! And humid!
I had to move a bunch of boxes today from a former office into my car. It required many trips. I was sweating a lot. I got tired and slow. I came home and drank as much water as I could, until I didn’t feel quite so icky. (Well, sweat aside.)
So, *please* remember to drink your water, especially if you’re outside or exercising a lot. Listen to your body and don’t push too hard. The last thing we need is MTM-landers dropping from heat stroke.
I always say that the more we know… the less we think we know. 
