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I have had many new beginnings in my life and many challenges, but now I’m emotionally tired (see My Bio). The beginnings that I have made have been my choice and I have always found a source of motivation for making those beginnings become successful routines. Now I have chosen another new beginning but I am having trouble meeting the challenge and mobillizing the motivation to do it. I have trouble finding the time to get out there and move. I have a brother who is a “diet doctor”. He says that even the President of the US succeeds in finding time each day to get out there and move, and he’s considered a pretty busy guy. If I can find enough motivation to cause me to make the relevent sacrifices in my daily routine, than I can do it. I have already proven that to myself in the past and I’m doing it now. I may need some help along the way though…
Sounds like you are off on a new adventure - good for you.
I’m not sure where your Bio is but would love to read it - can you point me in the right direction?
On the surface, it seems to me that you made an internal decision but are looking external for the motivation.
President Bush finds time to workout because he is passionate about what he does and understands that he MUST have more energy than anybody else around him if it wants to get his job done.
The folks around MTM will support you because you’re going to support them. Give us a little more detail or point us to that Bio and see what happens.
Of course it it. Duh? I haven’t had my Starbucks yet.
Whew.
I took a look at your Bio and just as I thought - it’s all about your past - except that part about today.
Here’s a homework assignment.
Re-write your Bio and instead of focusing on the past accomplishments as “things”, why not brag a bit about the kind of person that would be capable of doing such cool stuff. How did you feel about accomplishing so much? How did that move you forward?
Dumbing your life down to “things” nevers works. It’s the feelings and emotions that drive us.
Why not put “you” back in to the Bio. Make it positive an uplifting so that others and YOU get excited when you read it.
And drop the current “get back on track” stuff all together. That belongs in a journal or on a goal/outcome list that you use to drive you forward. Putting in your Bio/Profile screams “That’s who I am” and will keep you from moving forward.
Posting makes you accountable and that’s good - let’s just make sure that you’re holding yourself accountable for the right stuff.
Have fun with it and create a future that is exciting.
I accept your challenge. I have updated my bio in a more positive way, showing how those “things” were milestones in my life and have added notes and descriptions as to how I felt (or feel about them today) and how I succeeded in accomplishing goals and missions in life. And you’re right, Scott, looking back on those difficult challenges in life and seeing how I conquered those challenges have not only lifted my spirits, but it’s energized me as well!
Now for the data:
I started my new beginning exactly three weeks ago, today. I started a 1200 calorie diet and one hour times five days (per week) walking program at about 70% HR-Max. I’m 178 cm (5’10") and weigh 100 kg (220 lbs). I’ve dropped one hole on my belt since I’ve started and have gained a kilo! (Put on muscle? I’m just walking, not pushing any lead!) I feel really good when I’m walking and find myself making a great effort to find the time to get out and move. I think this is my greatest difficulty. I have resolved to improving my eating habits (I don’t even like sweets) but I was eating a lot of dairy, fat and carbohydrates. I like the exercise and am very careful not to overextend myself. I just find it so difficult to make time between work, family and routine obligations. When am I to find time for myself?
Welcome Shai,
its great to have you here!!! I am sure that you will find this Forum motivating- it has been very much so for myself. I read your Bio and was quite impressed by your achievements (gosh, finishing a 4 year degree in two years?!? thats incredible!). But I can see that you are indeed a very busy man. However, I can promise you something truly amazing: the more exercise you do, the more energy you have! I didn’t believe that myself until it happened to me. Keep exercising...the results will show (also psychologically- you will feel more stable).
ohhh, and I had an idea a minute ago...how about you go for a walk and take one of your kids with you in a pushchair - that way, you get to walk AND you get an upper body workout AND you spend time with your children AND your child gets some fresh air. I don’t have children myself, but thats always something I have envisaged myself doing once I have one (or more)
I believe in the power of energy - that’s why I asked to consider a re-write. On my first read of your Bio I felt kind of drained. If I felt drained I thought… how did Shai feel?
After your re-write - I feel like I know you and really understand who you are. Much better feeling and not drained at all. Good job.
Your last line you mentioned that “Scott suggessted I leave this part out of the Bio but you disagree”. Good for you. My job is to motivate you and that’s it. You have to do the rest of the work and that includes deciding what goes on the last line of your Bio. It’s your life - own it. Around here in MTM Land, we’re just making sure you’re seeing things clearly.
You have much to be proud of and there is no doubt in my mind that you will continue your new positive track and succeed in whatever you desire.
One more thing -
It doesn’t take much “time to yourself” to really give you a boost. Some folks try to put together hours, days or weeks alone or their not happy. That’s almost impossible so lots of folks are not happy.
For me, I’m always on the lookout for a few minutes here and there. And I always have a notepad, book, iPod, beach towel, something, whatever I need ready to take advantage of a moment alone. Believe it or not - a few minutes every now and then can really make the difference.
I also tend to try to combine things to make more time.
And of course the hardest thing of all to do. I just drop things to make time for myself. Believe it or not, much of what we fill our day doing is just “filler” and not really that important… we just think it is.
Most folks dissagree with me on that point and will argue everything is important and there is nothing that can be dropped. It’s not true. Look at the lives any any truly successful, busy and happy person and you’ll see somebody who decides daily what is important and what is not in order to make time for self. To do anything else will drive you crazy.
We’ll pick up on this subject later and if we’re really lucky, maybe my friend Jason Womack will jump in. He’s a productivity expert and trainer for David Allen Company - the “Getting Things Done” folks. Jason? Are you here? You can find him at http://www.fitandeffective.com but I’ll drop him a note if he doesn’t show up here.
If I can find enough motivation to cause me to make the relevent sacrifices in my daily routine, than I can do it.
I so appreciate (and resonate with) this line of your post…
I learned several years ago, a way to get moving, and stay moving, is to blend a healthy dose of:
INFORMATION
with
INSPIRATION
In fact, when I learned about this in a seminar in ‘98, I decided to give it a try. I subscribed to magazines, bought books, signed up for another seminar. Simultaneously, I implemented a reward system, joined a club, and celebrated even the smallest of accomplishments.
I won’t lie and say it’s over...by a long shot. I still use these same “tricks” today...I find the tricks to use are the ones that work!
I’m sure someone else has ideas/experiences on how to increase INFORMATION and INSPIRATION to continue moving toward their goals…
Wow Shai, what an inspiring bio! I’ve been to Israel and met some paratroopers… that’s hard work! Heck, if you can do the powertrooper stuff, slimming up a bit is going to be easy in comparison!
On an unrelated question, I’m guessing that “Shai” is Hebrew because your from Israel. How do you spell it (in Hebrew letters)? I was raised Jewish, and “Shai” just strikes me as an odd name, I suppose.
For me, being a paratrooper was a task. The things I did as a soldier were things that I did not rationalize about. I performed missions and completed assignments because that was how the system worked and my place in that framework was compulsory. I accepted that (and even embraced it) but I never rationalized about it. Jumping out of a plane (not something that I did for a rush or for any other personal consideration) was never a question, “Should I? Dare I? Am I brave enough? What will happen?” Never. That was part of the packaged deal and I never rationalized about it.
Studying electrical engineering was a task. My wife became ill shortly after I began. I had committed myself to my studies at the same time that I was committed to my wife and daughter. My wife’s health decreased rapidly (she had a neuronoma growing out of her spinal cord but was not properly diagnosed) and decided to complete the program as soon as possible in light of the facts that I may never have another chance to do so and that the fibromialgia (mistaken diagnosis) would require me to become a full-time care-taker. Completing my degree was not something that I rationalized about, it was a task (one that I embraced as well).
After my wife gave birth to our second daughter (two weeks after), she was properly diagnosed and immediatly underwent neurosurgery to remove the growth from her spine. The rehabilitation was (is) a long process, considering the fact that there was irreversable nerve damage (nerve roots leading to muscles in her legs were removed together with the growth). Being a father and husband became my sole task (one I embrace), but the two years leading up to this point and the two years following it were years of self-neglect (and getting fat).
I am now trying to reverse that self neglect. But should I continue not to rationalize as though I were still a soldier? Should I be rigid, even compulsive about completing the task of self improvement as though I were trying to complete a degree in engineering in half of the designated time? No, of course not. Yes, the framework is mine. And yes, I can complete the task if I don’t rationalize about it and accept it as another “required task”. But I want to progress in life. I want to rationalize about things in general and this health thing specifically. I want to question (and rationalize about) my purpose and motives, my methods and results. I want to do this for myself, not because I need to (I could still go through life being overweight). I want to improve my health just because I want to--I want to do this for me.
In the MensHealth.com podcast, Transform Yourself in 5 Weeks, the editors made a claim that in most cases, a new habbit can be formed in 5 weeks. I am now at the end of the first five weeks of my new habbit, my New Beginning. I feel really good! I’m eating right, I am exercising regularily, I am proud of myself and have increased my self esteem, I look forward to each new meal and the good choices that I will get to make, and this week I began early morning exercise (instead of walking after work) and I wake up at 5 am, excited about the workout that I’m going to do!
There is just one problem, the math--the numbers, they don’t work in the way that I had expected. I feel good, but I don’t look good. The weight is not comming off like I thought it would. The elipsical machine says at the end of my 60 minute workout, “980 calories burned.” The list in my shirt pocket says at the end of the day, “1200 calories eaten.” But that ugly spring (the one with the numbers and the red line that runs between them) on the bathroom floor says, “I know you’ve been busting your butt for five weeks, but you’ve only lost 3.5 kilos (7.7 pounds).” The secretary in the sales departments says, “Hey Shai, when are you going to start that diet you’ve been talking about?” And my daughter says, “Daddy, you are a fatty!”
But then I step back and think about things in that analytical way that I like to do. The way that I like to think when no else is around, when I’m in my office and it’s quiet and I can make sense out of things. And then I come up with the following:
1. I gained a kilo by the end of the second week. That weight gain was most likely muscle. I’ve been working on distance, not speed.
2. That means that I realy lost 4.5 kilos (9.92 pounds) and probably did it while still putting on muscle.
3. The numbers do work, they say that I am progressing--constantly progressing.
4. The secretary in sales is not an influential figure in my life. Besides, she doesn’t know what I do or how I eat, her opinion is irrelevent.
5. My daughter is five years old. For her, one day I’m a fatty, the next I’m a super hero.
6. I like my New Beginning and I want to continue.
7. It’s really hard to find the time, but I do.
Well, you pretty much said everything that was in my head at the bottom of your post, so there’s not much I can add. The only thing I’ll mention is to make sure you’re eating enough. If you’re only eating 1200 calories a day, and you’re very physically active, your body might not be getting enough nutrients and go into “energy saving mode.” That means your metabolism goes down and you actually lose less (or even gain) weight.
As counter-intuitive as this might seem, you may need to be eating more! Check out a calories needed calculator and see what it recommends. Then take 200-300 calories off of that number and try eating that ammount for a while. I suspect it’ll be higher than 1200.
I know it seems weird, but eating too little may be hindering your weight loss goals.
On the other hand, 3.5 kilos in five weeks is nothing to scoff at! Especially when you factor in muscle gain on top of that loss! Don’t beat yourself up too much, and enjoy what you *have* accomplished!
With exercise and only 1,200 per day, you may be pushing your body too hard. I run into this all the time. When I hear of somebody having the problem, the first thing we do is increase the calories a bit.
1,200 per day is on the low side for anybody. I prefer 1,500 alternating to 1,200 every couple of days. Keeps your metabolism going strong.
And you’re right - 3.5 kilos per week is alot - and as a good old fashion American I really don’t even understand Kilos.
Take your time and give your body time to react.
And one more thing -
I saw in another post you mentioned the Men’s Health podcast said you can set a new habit in 5 weeks. Don’t buy into it.
It’s well known that habits can take years to form… or they can take 5 seconds. It all comes down to your belief system.
As soon as you believe, not want or think, but believe you must change, you will.
I saw in another post you mentioned the Men’s Health podcast said you can set a new habit in 5 weeks. Don’t buy into it.
It’s well known that habits can take years to form… or they can take 5 seconds. It all comes down to your belief system.
I think it all depends on what you call a “habit.” To me, a habit is something routine, done every day in the same way. So, “brushing your teeth in the morning,” is a habit. “Drinking a glass of water at lunch instead of soda,” is a habit. “Eating well” is not a habit, it’s a lifestyle change. There are too many factors that go into “eating well” that it cannot be a simple habit.
Similarly with exercise. “Exercise,” is not a habit. “Do 20 pushups as soon as I get up,” is a habit. “Take the stairs when going into work,” is a habit.
On the other hand, I do agree with you, Scott, that some things are easier to get into than others, and mindset is a large part of it. But if you’re trying to do something you don’t want to do, and is simple and repetitive, 3-5 weeks sounds about right to me.
But if you’re trying to do something you don’t want to do, and is simple and repetitive, 3-5 weeks sounds about right to me.
What? OK - I need a weekend off.
Who the heck would ever want to do something they don’t want to do for 3 to 5 weeks just so they can get in the habit of doing something they don’t want to do?
There is no time limit or minimim required to set a habit or a behavior. All that’s required is an emotional association that moves you from your Conscious “Will Power” based mind to your Sub-Conscious “Imagination” based mind. Everything that we do as a habit or behavior is Sub-Conscious based.
In humans, Imagination will ALWAY win over Will Power. It’s no contest.
To set a habit all that’s needed is enough imagination to get your sub-conscious to buy into it.
To change a habit, you must first collapse the unwanted habit from it’s sub-conscious source and then replace it with a new one.
Some folks work years doing this for some things. But those same folks also set new habits every day in seconds without even thinking about it. Thus the power of the sub-conscous.
As you can see, I’m really close to this. As an experienced and trained practitioner of NLP and Hypnosis I have seen and created these changes in people thousand of times - and it didn’t take 5 weeks.
The MTM shows have created instant changes in habits just by folks listening - I have the letters.
Anybody who thinks and really believes it will take 3 to 5 weeks to set or change a habit - will get exactly that. If you really believe it must change this second - you’ll get that. It all comes down to what your sub-conscous believes.
