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Thank you so much for your messages guys, that’s so nice of you!
The show went quite well, considering we were underprepared We had a 7 hour rehearsal today before the show, and suddenly there were 16 of us! The more the merrier! I wish I could post the video on here, it looks fantastic, my boyfriend Jamie recorded it for me. I love the high of the adrenaline rush when I’m on stage, I wish I could do shows every week! The teacher is going to start running a closed class just for the new dance troupe every thursday and we’re going to do more shows, I hope it really happens!
Also, we found a house today! Jamie and I, and one of our (male) friends have been looking for a house to rent for weeks now and we’ve finally found the perfect one. Jamie and I live in an apartment at the moment, and I really miss having outside space, and stairs! So we decided if there were 3 of us, we could afford to rent a house instead of another apartment. The house we found is fantastic, we’ve all agreed we’ll get a big trampoline for the garden, I’m so excited! We move in July 1st, yay!
And, as if that wasn’t enough for one day (how did we fit it in?!) we went to my friend’s Eurovision party, always great. Is it even broadcasted in America? It should be, it’s so fun!
All in all, a fantastic day :D Now if I can make myself do my sit ups before bed, the world will be perfect for just a moment…
Unfortunately, my “homework diary” has more crosses than ticks for last week, so I have to keep doing my running and sit ups (she says, and immediately feels guilty about not going for a run this morning...)
I’m going home tomorrow! My parents live in Spain, so I don’t get to see them a lot, but I’m going over for a whole week now! I can’t wait, but I also know that my mum will cook me all my favourite dinners and cakes, and I don’t want to refuse myself all that good food! I think I need to be disciplined and still eat it, but eat less of it. I hope I can stick to that, and still go for my run and do my sit ups instead of being lazy just because I’m home.
Hey Nienke,
As your signature says...."just keep swimming!” Take one moment at a time. Enjoy your visit with your family, and, as Scott says, just try to be “a little more gooder than badder.” You can do it.
Well, I only have a few days left at my parents’ home, and I have to admit I’ve had some ice cream and cake (only on my dad’s birthday though!), but I’ve been running every morning except one, I’ve gone for walks with the dog, been to the gym, packed and moved boxes, and I must have walked 5 miles today, exploring Sevilla (where my parents are moving). And I have said no to a few things I usually would have had, and had the mini-magnums instead of the full sized ones. But most of all, I’ve had a great time, and I know I’ll go back to my disciplined self once I get back to England.
Saw your dutch name and read some of your posts and profile. Must be hard for you resisting the spanish food and especially in the nice spanish lifstyle full of enjoying it all.... Have you enjoyed the stay at your parents? Was it also relaxing for you?
You are studying in London? Where?
I have spend some time in London (visiting traveling up and down) some years ago with a friend who was working for the Zoological Society (UCL)
I am working/doing PhD in the VU in Amsterdam.
Hi Nienke,
It’s OK to have the ice cream and cake; it’s all about portions. I’m so glad to hear that you’ve enjoyed your time with your family. Such special times, and so important to do. My husband and I have been hosting a 17 year old German foreign exchange student in our home since last August. Many celebrations and farewell parties coming up in the next 10 days. I’m going to choose wisely, and enjoy some of the special foods. I remember hearing Scott say in a recent podcast--"dieting is not a hunger strike.” If I can do as you did while on your holiday, I will be in good shape. It’s not a start/stop/beginning/ending. It is a day to day journey, and I’m OK with that!
Wow, have I been busy! I worked at a school for 3 weeks which was so amazing that I can think of is going back there, which is very inconvenient when I have to somehow conjure up the motivation to write a 16000 word dissertation :( After that we moved house, which is always fun, but it’s taken us 2 weeks to clean and build furniture, more time away from dissertation writing!
First things first, a long overdue reply to you lovely MTMers! Hi Muriel, I had a great time in Spain thank you, and managed to stay pretty healthy too! It’s when I got back to England that I knew I was in trouble, because the cold and the rain just makes me want to comfort eat all day long! Luckily I’ve been too busy carrying boxes, wardrobes and entire beds up and down stairs! I’m studying in Manchester, I’m a postgraduate student in translation and interpreting at the moment, but the degree has put me off as it would be a very lonely career, so I’m taking a teaching course from September which I’m very excited about.
How do you find doing your Phd? I’m writing my dissertation for my MA at the moment and am finding it hard to stay disciplined, especially when there’s so much to do! Is it still sunny in Holland? I’m flying over there for my birthday in August, so I’m hoping it won’t rain! How are you finding MTM land? I’ve really missed it the past few weeks and am so relieved we have internet again now!
Kristen, do you speak any German? I always think learning a new language is so great, it exercises your brain and opens up so many opportunities! You must have noticed a lot of cultural differences too, I find that so fascinating. Hope all the parties went well for you and that you have more of a summer over there than we do here! I smile every time I read your Yoda quote :D I’ve been snacking a bit, but I try to snack on fruit and nuts instead of chocolate, and the best change I’ve made is starting every day with a smoothie - usually banana, ice cubes, apple juice and cranberry juice - it’s delicious!
My “moving-engine” seems to have stalled with being so busy, but I’m determined to get back on track, starting with doing sit ups every night again.
So I didn’t start my sit ups that night but I started last night and WILL do them tonight! More news to follow soon, spent too much time reading everyone else’s stories and need my sleep now (but sit ups first!!)
Dear Nienke,
While I was working on my dissertation for my Ed.D. a friend of mine lent me a book: “Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day.” And that’s basically what I did. I carved out time every day to work; some days it was time to do proofing, editing, or formatting, and other days a larger chunk of time to really spend time writing. When I thing back to it and do some reflecting, it’s a lot like finding that click to change your life and make exercise an everyday part of it. You choose it, you do it. (Just like Yoda says.)
So, if I can offer any advice as you work on your thesis for your MA, plan it into your day, just like planning your daily exercise. What a wonderful accomplishment it will be when you are finished!
Thank you for the good advice Kris. After a few days of hanging around the house trying to work up the courage to start (but WHERE was always the problem), I realised that I actually needed to restrict my writing time so that I wouldn’t be wasting so much time doing nothing. So now I take some time every day to do some work, not a definite amount, just however long I have the motivation, and then I stop. So far it seems to be working, though I’m still not spending quite enough time on it, but I feel like I’m moving in the right direction.
As for life in general, I took a big gravity moonstep yesterday! I went for a laser surgery consultation and booked in for 3 September! My eyes are pretty bad, -9.00 (for the fortunate people without glasses, that means I need glasses to find my glasses), and I’d been thinking about it for years, and yesterday I finally booked it. I can’t wait to be able to see properly all the time, which I haven’t been able to since I was 11.
Went to a taekwondo class today, I was so impressed with myself! It was quite fun, so I think I’ll make that a weekly thing now! So my weeks will happen as follows:
Streetdance (2.5 hours) Thursday
Taekwondo (1 hour) Friday or Saturday
Ballet or Salsa or Swimming (1 hour) to be confirmed
Also, there is movement on the independence front! I’m getting a car next week!!! It’s a little Nissan Micra and it’s 14 years old, but it will cost me hardly anything apart from the insurance and I won’t have to beg my boyfriend to drive me places anymore! I really can’t wait.
Apart from that, we’ve just spent 2 weeks building Ikea furniture, so the routine is not quite back to normal. The lack of routine is what gives me panic attacks, I actually had one about 4 or 5 weeks ago, but not had any in the new house and really hoping to keep it that way. So at the moment I fall asleep every night with Scott talking away in my earphones and the lights on. Does anyone dread going to sleep at night like I do and if so, what do you do about it? All suggestions welcome!
But apart from that, I feel like I’m doing well - not as good as a couple of months ago, but I’ve definitely been “more gooder than badder”.
Tomorrow we’re going to the zoo, I haven’t been in about 8 years!
I am very new to this thread thing as I keep calling it, and I was wondering whether people write journal-ish things on here as I thought it will be a great way to keep myself accountable. In my ‘research’ I did indeed find the threads and as I have been living in Amsterdam for the past 15 years, your name sprung out at me. I enjoyed your journal posts.
We have some similarities; I too have moved, from Malawi (ages 0-11), to Holland (11-15), to London (15- 25) and then back to Holland (25 - now). In between been to many places like New York (only for 3 mths but I still count it ...). It’s a wonderful blessed life, but the downside is I think sometimes a feeling of isolation. I know I can survive anywhere, because I had to learn to, but I also really need to feel someone’s got my back, because I had to do so much on my own.
I also suffered from panic attacks, I also would love to go running in the mornings, but need someone to push me. In fact, and one day I will laugh about this: I used to live in a ‘bad’ neighbourhood and would wake up at 6 am to jog (initially just 5 minutes) because the streets were deserted. For the past 6 years since I bought my place, and live in a good neighbourhood I have been out jogging once, because I am convinced people will judge me and be disgusted at how fat I am. The thought alone makes me have a panic attack. I even burst out crying the first time I joined my gym 7 years ago and my best friend had to literally walk with me up to the front desk because I couldn’t do it. Different reasons to you, but I know what it feels like.
It’s been very hot and muggy in Amdam today, so I need to do my (life) homework and then take a shower and head to bed. I will write a journal post sometime this week, I really like this MTM forum, Scott was right all along!
Take care of yourself, look forward to reading more posts, and good luck with the panic attacks, and your goals.
How are you liking MTM land? I’ve found it a great place for support, but also just to write down what you’re thinking.
I see you’re a traveler like me, and I can relate to that feeling of isolation. People tell me all the time that I’m very independent, but I know that I cling to people, whether it’s my boyfriend (in England), my mum (in Spain), or my aunties (Holland). Being alone scares me more than anything. On the other hand, that kind of life gives you such a fantastic cultural awareness.
I’m sorry to hear about your panic attacks, I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. I think the most important thing with them is to face your fears, for me disappointment in myself is sure to give me a panic attack. As for running in the morning, the trick is not to think about it. I started running on a Sunday, didn’t wait for Monday to come around. I don’t hit the snooze button, but just roll out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off, put on my shoes and tracksuit, and head out the door - all without thinking! If people look at you, just give them a big smile as you run past, now you’ve made a good impression AND brightened up their day!
We’ve just moved house, and my big goal at the moment is not to have any panic attacks in this house. If I succeed, that will be fantastic. If not, I will just start again from there.
I look forward to reading your journal, and good luck with everything!
When I see people running past my house (regardless of the time of day, or the size of the person), I always think the same thing—that its wonderful, and I look forward to my next run. We tend to think others focus on our flaws, but they are just hoping we don’t see theirs, and find the best things in us to focus on.
We had a 7 hour rehearsal today before the show, and suddenly there were 16 of us! The more the merrier! I wish I could post the video on here, it looks fantastic, my boyfriend Jamie recorded it for me. I love the high of the adrenaline rush when I’m on stage, I wish I could do shows every week! The teacher is going to start running a closed class just for the new dance troupe every thursday and we’re going to do more shows, I hope it really happens!
