Getting back to positive when negative gets in your head
Posted: 07 April 2008 05:01 PM   [ Ignore ]  
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Interested in your thoughts…
How do you get leverage over your state when you go
through short periods of stress or negativity?

Usually running in a passionate upbeat state.
Once in a while something knocks you out of balance.
Doesn’t last long and you know better intellectually.

Any tricks or techniques to get back on track sooner?
Hate to waste even a minute out of rhythm!
Thanks!

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Posted: 07 April 2008 06:50 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
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I do the things I do because I want them, not because I need them. I’m lazy that way.  So to answer your question ... When life throws me a curveball, I make it a dream and a goal to get back into whatever I missed out on.  I keep myself immersed in my activity even though I am not actively participating. I will even go as far as to schedule in time for planning what I am going to do when I get back in the flow.  I have done this before and it really works. 

As an example, I used to build musclecars.  I don’t right now due to a lack of time and space. That will change sometime in the not too distant future.  When I can, I am going to build up an early ‘90s Corvette.  I know everything that will go into it from the powertrain right down to the colors of the trim.  Even now I am deafened by the engine’s rumble, blinded by the mile deep paint and can smell the leather interior.  It is a dream and a goal. It will happen. Maybe not tomorrow, but very soon.

Perhaps, one’s desire to stay moving and fit through an injury or other inconvenience could become the next goal.  Write it down and plan for it.  Stay active even if only mentally.  Call it “Virtual Momentum”.  Become passionate about it and getting back in the saddle will not only be easier, but gratifying as well. Remember your reasons for doing it in the first place.

This also works if you lose your passion, but are still able to be active. Immerse yourself in it. Rediscover the reasons why you want it. You know what lights your fire.  Seduce yourself with it.

Works for me.

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In the meantime and inbetween time,

Be an example ... to those that you lead and for those that lead you.

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Posted: 08 April 2008 01:12 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
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Life happens, things get in the way.  There are negative forces that act on your life that are totally out of your control.  What you will need to learn is how to manage yourself within the context of everything happening around you. 

I am a kayaker - meaning that I paddle a very small boat in a very big ocean.  Lots of things happen that could be very negative - wind, waves currents, cold water can all add up to make my time on the water a challenge, if not downright dangerous.  So kayaking is like life - I learn to control my boat, adjust my course and use all the tools given to me to make sure I get to where I’m heading.  Even though there are strong negative forces all around, I have no choice but to continue - the alternatives are totally unacceptable. 

So life like kayaking is controlling what I can, my thoughts and actions, and having a destination (goal) that really motivates me.  Then all I do is sit back and enjoy the journey while using the tools and skills I’ve acquires along the way to keep me on course.  I’ve learned to see challenges as opportunities, what can I learn from this, what new skills can I take away?  I also use the challenges to test my goals - how much do I really want this.  Sometimes it’s the goal that is adjusted.

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Posted: 06 May 2008 06:19 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
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I struggle with negativity as well. The problem is that I freak out about the smallest of things (e.g. When I’ve finished an essay and I want to burn it to a cd, but I’ve run out of blank cds and the shops are closed.). When this happens, I can’t focus on anything else and bulldoze over anyone who tries to calm me down (usually my boyfriend). Luckily my boyfriend is very very patient with me, and tries to understand even when I’m totally irrational. It’s not so bad now, because I’ve learned to put things into perspective and try to stay out of other people’s way.

The one thing that helps me almost every time is to listen to the MTM podcasts, any of them will do. It helps me distance myself from that huge mountain I’ve made out of a molehill and watch it reduce back to what it really is. On the more hormonal days though, I tend to give people an advance warning and just allow myself to wallow for a while. After a while I’ll tell myself to stop being negative, go out for a walk and come back positive.

Good luck finding your way back to positivity in that negative minute!

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Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Just keep swimming.

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