Ok so I am starting a journal.  Where I work there were a lot of people out shopping for Christmas.  I am currently single and a couple of times I walked past some attractve men and just put my head down.  I felt I was too fat for them to consider attractive.  This is so frustrating.  Things need to change now.  I want to walk anywhere and hold my head up high!

Why do you think you are too fat for them? I’m sure there are plenty of things about them that make them feel not good enough for you too. Hold yourself confidently, look them in the eye and smile. Keep walking, but notice their reaction to you. Regardless of size, men find confidence very sexy. Soon a conversation may happen, then they will find out how wonderful you are inside too. Besides, would you really want a man who could be repulsed by fat? What happens when you’re married and carrying his child? Though I seriously doubt the men were thinking about your fat.

Here’s something to try, when you look at someone, what’s the first thing you notice? For me, it’s usually something really good about the person. Whether I really like their hair, makeup, shirt, smile, shoes, whatever. I hardly ever notice the flaws. Most people are insecure and also thinking that all you are thinking about is their flaws, when in reality, neither of you had noticed. Head up, darling, you are more than a size.

Bree

Thanks Bree.  I know, you are right!  The real problem is I am not happy with myself.  But, things are changing.  I need to take some time and work on all areas of me.

It will come. I know I’ve made huge strides in the confidence department over the last year. Hours on the treadmill are great for thinking and so many realizations happened. Just keep chipping away at it and one day, it’ll all come together.

Bree

I love what Bree said...that we rarely notice the flaws in other people, though we are sure that is what they notice about us.  It is so true.  But she is right.  You are more than a size, and sadly even when the size changes, the feelings we have about ourselves don’t always change.  Confidence goes beyond size.  Perhaps while working on your body changes, it’s a good idea to do some work on how you think about yourself too.  Maybe start a list (as hard as it may be) about your good traits.

We are always so much harder on ourselves ....  especially women. 

You are more than your dress size, height, weight, etc.  All those things are just superficial, and with a few limits, all can be changed.  You are taking some significant steps to live a healthy lifestyle.  You should be proud of that.  Look at people and smile.  Let yourself feel good, care for your body, and enjoy every day.  Start living as if you were already at your goals - how does a thin person think and act?  Then think and act that way.  It’s not easy, but then you have a great set of tools in the MTM podcasts, and a lot of support from this community.  Keep looking forward and taking those steps. 

Walk tall, smile, and remember that you are a warm caring person and if someone doesn’t see that, it’s his loss.